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Sounds like neither one of you are doing any work on the marriage. Instead of addressing it, you wandered off the reservation looking for greener grass, and you ended up with a woman who was also basiy dishonest in that she saw no problem with helping a married commit adultery. How can either of you trust each other in a marriage when neither of you have any respect for it?
Have you had an honest attempt at marriage counseling?
Do you even remember why you married your wife 20 years ago? You don't have the same "connection" with your wife because you've spent years mooning over your mistress you never really "gave her up. So yeah, go ahead and get a divorce already.
You've already fucked up your teenagers because neither one of you have given them a solid example of what respect and dedication to making marriage vows work look like. How much more harm could you do?
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